Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize