I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish you could order shots online.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
