There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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