MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
