he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Randomize
