when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
