it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
