She just used a chaser for red wine.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize