So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
