A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
