Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
