i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
