omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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