have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize