This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
