trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
