Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
