You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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