Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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