What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
