is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
