you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you would pick up someone in the library
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
