I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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