I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
