It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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