I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
