Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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