I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
