Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
