so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
