i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize