Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
