you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
