i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
