you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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