YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
