Moan for me like Helen Keller
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize