I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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