Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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