remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
