Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
