He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
