So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
