They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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