I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just want nice things and good sex
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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