um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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