You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
