i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
