And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I smell stomach acid.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
