I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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