i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You made out with two different species that night
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
