This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
