Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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