He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
