i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
