Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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