Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
