i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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