does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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