i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
